I'm A Puddle Of Goo

Or rather, I would be, if not for Marilee.

Wednesday morning, I had gone out with the dogs in the backyard, prior to going upstairs to get ready for work. I had my brand-new slippers on, purchased by Marilee the previous day. I'd had my "sea-legs" already this winter season - yeah, I know it's still fall here - but wasn't prepared for, nor did I see, the patch of ice on the second step off the family room.

KER-THWAP!

Out my legs flew from my torso, and landed squarely on my back.

Like that pain we guys know all too well, the pain took a few microseconds to sink in. "This is not going to end well" was all I though in those fleeting moments.

But again, the pain didn't set in until I tried to right myself. Shooting from my left hip down to my toes, I had to shift my weight off to the right side, and it wasn't so bad. "Yeah, just try to walk now" was the thought in my brain.

OW - OK - OW - OK - OW - OK

Standing still isn't in the game plan here, unless I put all my weight on the right.

That morning, Marilee was in the bedroom upstairs, and I could hear the blow dryer. "MARILEE!" [crickets]

"HONEY!"

"HEY!"

Leaning against the banister, I quietly waited until the blow dryer ceased.

Then "MARILEE!"

"Did you call me?"

"YES!"

[crickets]

This was going well.

I stumbled upstairs - slowly - and one look at me told the story. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"ICE. BACK STEPS. HURTS."

"Get in bed."

"Need phone."

"Take this."

Two Lortabs were thrust into my hand before I knew what was happening. Actually, it was about fifteen minutes; in the meantime I'd called work and dealt with all those unpleasantries.

Wednesday led into Thursday, and now today. A doctor's visit was in the offing, and while an X-ray didn't show anything abnormal - "If this continues into bext week, we'll get you in for an MRI" - it was enough to scare the sh!t out of me.

With an injection of Toradol in my [too much information] and I was out of there with my own prescription for Lortab, and one for one I cannot even hope to pronounce. "What'll this one do", I asked of Marilee.

"It'll make you sleep."

"You know, without you, I'd be a puddle of goo."

"After those meds, you WILL be a puddle of goo."