Sunday, April 25

Two Years of BS

bob's bs, to be exact.

Yesterday I received an email from GoDaddy, telling me that my domain names had been re-registered. Jeez, I thought, has it been two years now?

April 25th, 2008, bob's bs went live. Well,the blog anyway. The domain name came a few days thereafter. But still.

This blog post is my 789th published entry - a bit more than one post per day. In that time, approximately 5,000 visitors have visited my blog's pages. From such far-off places as Canada, the UK, Belgium, Germany, Australia, and Morocco. And even Detroit.

Most are from Utah, and about the same amount from the San Francisco area, though I have no understanding of why that is. And quite a large contingent from Ohio. I shudder to think why that is.

And you might ask "why are all those people looking at my blog? What could I possibly have to offer here than can be found elsewhere?"

Enter Google. More searches find my blog through Google than any other search engine. A smattering comes from Yahoo; a few more from Bing. But the telling tale is what keyword searches reveal.

A few samples are: "Dashtronic", "word cloud generator", "armstrong11", "foxtrot", and "quantifying customer service." That last one was a real shocker: Last year I took a course during one of my [expletive deleted] training classes where the content had to do with being a better customer-oriented individual. And I blogged about it, with exactly the same title as the search keyword. Go figure; guess I'd chosen the right blog title for that one. But therein lies a caveat for choosing witty blog entry titles. Be the least bit arcane, and no-one will find your entry. Word to the wise.


Two years out, and this here blog hasn't - yet - brought me untold riches like some other bloggers have seemed to be able to do. My desire some day is to be as popular as dooce, but that hasn't happened yet. I've only "made" about twenty bucks with this endeavor, though I haven't yet seen a dime of it. And not for lack of trying. I provide brilliantly stimulating content when the opportunity arises, though usually not when I'm on call working on [expletive deleted]'s as I have been this week.

There's much more to write about and much more to share.

Please look forward to another years of bs from me, starting with blog post 790.


bob's bs

Tuesday, April 20

Tern, Tern, Tern

Simple premise - Photoshop this trio of terns:


OK, so I think I've got a winner here. What do you think?

Monday, April 19

You Bet Your Ash There's A Reason

Had a driveway moment on Friday as NPR was conducting an interview of a pilot who, in 1982, had an inadvertent introduction into what it's like to fly through a volcanic ash cloud.

It pretty much makes it self-explanatory why air travel has come to a near standstill in Europe.

Here's the story on Youtube. Scary sh!t:

Saturday, April 17


No, I can't pronounce the name of the Icelandic glacier, either.

Nor can many of the world's newscasters, as the following video explains:

OK, so I cannot make fun of this. THAT would be un-politically correct. Besides, there are probably enough people who cannot pronounce - correctly - the city in Southern Utah called Hurricane or the Northern Utah county called Weber (for you out-of-staters it's Hurri-KEN and WEEber).

And God forbid anyone from beyond the Zion curtain tries to wrap their tongues around Tooele.

Friday, April 16

Together, We Make One Person

What with my issues, and Marilee's issues, we've determined that if not for each other, we would not be complete.

Oh, how sweet.

But it's not like that. Rather, without each other, we'd spin off into the abyss, Maybe get swallowed up by the hole in the earth near Randolph from the earthquake yesterday. Taylor and I felt it, but not Marilee or Chris, who was over tending the front yard. She was actually bummed she didn't feel it. Such is the case here - something dramatic happens, and if you're not privy to it, you feel left out.


I was on vacation last week. Didn't do a damn thing. Oh, she and I had grandiose ideas; we'd go to Wendover, maybe Idaho for lottery tickets. Get the cars inspected and stickers. But did we actually do any of that? Not a damn thing.

Getting either of us to do the most mundane tasks requires a battle of epic proportions. Even if either of us do the dishes, we whoop and holler that we actually accomplished something. Productivity! Woo hoo!

Yeah, that whole "productivity" moniker leaves a bad taste in my mouth, a subject which I don't want to go into just now.

Wednesday, Marilee had said "I'm gonna do this" and "I'm gonna do that" this week. With the week waning as it was, and Thursday beginning with Marilee sleeping in far too long, I realized that the "this" and "that" wasn't going to happen. So, with a modicum of guilt, I called in sick, and went into assertive mode - maybe it was the new meds finally kicking in. Whatever.

First off was taking the Grand Am in to have the window fixed. The passenger-side window had dropped off its track and would neither rise nor fall electrically. It had been that way since before Halloween. Money, time, "insert lazy-ass reason for not doing it in the past six months reason here" was the usual response. Three-hundred bucks later, it's fixed.

On to the Rodeo. Check engine light's been on and off for the last few months - mostly on. Oxygen sensor? Hose plugged? I don't do cars. I do [expletive deleted]'s. Only ended up with an oil change for the Rodeo and a few other details. A hundred bucks there. Light's still on.

Now it was off to the bank; Marilee needed a Notary for a signature, off to the bank we were. THAT accomplished, we then went to Costco. Two hundred fifty.

Back home with the haul, an hour respite, then to Jiffy Lube for the Grand Am testing and stickers. Other than the requisite fees and a bit more maintenance including an oil change, that was about two hundred bucks.

WHY does productivity always cost so much?

The good news is that everything we set out to do early yesterday got done. The bad news is that I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not going to work. Well, the work that I get paid for.

To help pay for all that productivity.

Thursday, April 15

Sans Sheriff

Found during idle surfing amid the denizens of Twitter:

Sorry, typography geek joke.

Dear IRS...

Classic Peanuts cartoon featuring Snoopy.

Rather apropos for today, don't you think?

Tuesday, April 13


This is my current Fark Photoshop entry - so far, I'm in the lead:

Photoshop this decontaminator:


I had originally wanted to do another "blow up doll" but ended up with Otto from "Airplane!" - I was rather pleased the inflation of the head matched the inflation of the decontamination suit.

BTW, the entry exemplifies one important reason to have a paid Fark membership; I actually did the 'shop three days ago!

Sunday, April 11

Some Things You Just Don't Talk About

Because those are the rules. Essentially unwritten.

But in the last week, whilst on vacation, I became a paying member of Fark.

Yes, folks, that free "news aggregator" - but so much more - that I've posted Photoshop contest entries from, has a pay service.

What exactly does one get for the privilege? For one thing, instead of getting twenty-some-odd "news" stories a day, you get to see the other 95% user-submitted links. Yes, only five percent of the links on are available for the non-paying public. "Liters" as we call them.

And about those Photoshop contests? As a paying member, I get to see the 'O'riginal's for the contests before the rest of you. So I get to work on my entries a week or so before they go live to the main page. So much more satisfying to work on an entry without haste. Just a whole lot of fun.

Adjectives include total and ultra. Ask me some time what those particular words really mean in the world of Fark.

It's not news - it's!

Edie Just Needed A Hug

Folks, there are far too many "Edie's" out there. Please make a difference and adopt the seemingly unadoptable. While the following video is difficult to watch at first, believe me, you'll be glad you watched at all:

Friday, April 9


Wednesday, April 7


Thankfully, if you Google "Homer", the first "find" is Homer of the Iliad and Odyssey. Second is the other Homer of syndicated cartoon fame. But this is about Homer. THE Homer.

Sunday last, I went to the movies with Jenn, Chris, and Taylor. "Clash of the Titans" was the movie. The story was, well, a remake of "Clash of the Titans". Was it the Iliad? Or the Odyssey? Hardly.

I've read both stories, though it was thirty-five or so years ago. Medusa, Sirens, and scorpions were all there.

And even this thing:

Looking back in the dark recesses of my mind, I don't recall a mechanical owl to be in either the Iliad or Odyssey, but it was in the original Clash. And thankfully only for a moment in the remake. Perseus, rummaging around in a chest of swords and shields, comes across the infamous owl. The dialog went something like this:

"What's this?"

"Never mind."

Best part of the movie.


OK, so it was in 3D replete with funky glasses. That the movie projector puked up a third of the way through, and we got free passes for any movie in the future was payment enough. For sitting through the movie.

Sorry - I'd rather sit through the original, even with the damn owl.

Saturday, April 3

Hyundai Equus

Says here the Hyundai Equus will come with an iPad "as a manual", via the Consumerist.

Says I: "Will it come with a PC if you want an automatic?"

Friday, April 2

Another Problem Caused By Deforestation

Jenn sent me this:

Thursday, April 1

Like the Dickens

I try SO hard not to write about work. Everyone who reads this here blog pretty much can tell I'm in some sort of computer industry job, but for those of you who don't know the specifics, well, so much the better. That I mention on occasion that I work on [expletive deleted]'s, or that some nights I'm out til all hours - let your mind run free.

I'm getting better at it - at least I think I am - but from time to time we think all we need do is get the nasty, dirty thing running and...

We pause a moment for the witticism of the day: this blog post's title has nothing to do with Charles Dickens; rather, "the dickens" predates Charles by at least 200 years, as this explanation shows from an online edition of an Australian newspaper:

"Dickens is a euphemism for the Devil. The expression has been in the language for centuries and predates the birth of Charles Dickens by at least 200 years. Mistress Page utters it in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor (Act 3, Scene 2): 'I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of'."

So if we apply the historical fact that "dickens" means the devil, and thus alliterates to "hell", then "running like the dickens" therefore means "running like hell".

And that's just what we do when we're pretty sure we've completed the impossible repair job.

"Run Like Hell" = R L H
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