Thursday, March 31

I Know What They're Talking About

The following video, gone viral, shows a pair of twin boys talking in what has been described as their own language. Mashups have been created showing subtitles in English, Dutch, and other foreign languages, some just as unpronounceable as theirs. And what, exactly, are they talking about?

I think I have an answer.

"Where, exactly, do missing socks go?"

At 0:42, you'll see THAT is what they're talking about:

Tuesday, March 29

Let Me See That

TOTAL crackup to Marilee and I whenever this is on TV:

Is that Harold?

Monday, March 28

Layout Is Everything

Proofreading, too:

Saw Trek

Never mind how I find this sh!t:

Sunday, March 27

Meth Lab

Teh funny on Facebook Saturday Night:

Friday, March 25


Marilee had a particularly hideous day yesterday. She was expecting information of a familial nature; positive, she had hoped, only to turn out negative. No, there was no rabbit involved.

She'd called me late in the day with the news; she asked where I was.

"Park City" was my reply.

"Can you stop by the Factory Stores, and go to the Coach store?" Going to the Coach store is somewhat of a drug for her. She needed this "drug" because of her hideous mood.

My reply was immediate, considering the circumstances.

"...and pretend you're me, and see what they have."

I pondered this for a moment, and asked "...had I not been in Park City, what would you have requested me do on my way home?"

"Oh, the same thing."

She asks me to do this same sort of thing whenever I go to Costco for specifics. "And go over to the decorations section," yes, and see what they have. I know Marilee's style, and can explain in her terms, "what they have."

I'm sure the salespeople thought "...Ah, fresh meat. A GUY walking into a Coach store. How much can we 'get him' for?"

Remember, I was just there to "look." But I had ulterior motives. I intended to BUY something, again, considering the circumstances. I picked up a little trinket I was sure Marilee would appreciate, and considering the oh-so-happy salesperson had handed me a 30% off coupon upon entering the store, it made the effort that much more palatable.

The lady that rang up my order chatted me up, hoping to add to my purchase, but I declined as chattily as I could.

Purchase in hand, I was on my way home.

Marilee wanted a treat on my way home, so off to Ream's I was. I reached for my wallet, and... wait for it... realized I'd left my credit card at the Coach store.

Marilee and I had a nice drive to Park City last night.

Thursday, March 17

Do You Want Me To Peel It?

Late afternoon on a Saturday not too long ago, I'm in the kitchen making some coffee.

From the family room comes the request "Can I have a banana?"

Turning towards the counter with bananas thereon, I pick one up, and ask "Do you want me to peel it?"

This has multitudes of meaning, of course. Does the person asking want to eat the banana now, or does she want to hang on to it for a bit before consuming it, and what will she do with the peel?

"Yes, please" comes the reply. So I do, and hand her the peeled banana on a paper plate with a napkin paper towel.

Another night, we're having authentic south-of-the-border - I didn't say which border, now did I? - food from Taco Bell. We have it down to a science, to a point. I bring in the mystery meat vittles and put them on paper plates, but not without asking "Do you want me to peel it?"

Yes, it's our little rut, Marilee and I. But a happy one nonetheless. For whatever it is we're doing, or eating, somewhere in the conversation I'll ask if it needs to be peeled. Anything.

So earlier this week, Marilee and I opted for a day trip to Wendover. I've written a bit in the past about Wendover, so I won't duplicate the effort. But before we left, we stopped at a convenience store to pick up some munchies; some chips, a candy bar or two, and I got a Coke for myself - Marilee had a bottle of water from home.

"Oh, and get me some SnoBalls."

OK, so I think I'd had Hostess SnoBalls somewhere back in my youth. And I think I remember hating them. A marshmallow-y coconut coating around a chocolate cake-with-filling center. But what Marilee wants, Marilee gets. Usually.

So I'm back in the car with our stash of munchies, and we're about to drive off when she says...

I'd grabbed some real napkins before walking out of the store; this proved to be a well-thought-out idea, as she says to me:

"I eat my SnoBalls in a most-peculiar way. I..."

Wait for it...

"Peel them first."

She's on her own with this one.

Wednesday, March 16

This Will Take Your Mind Off It

In this context, "it" is everything:

Useless Infographics

Monday, March 14

Comparatively Speaking, That Is

"At this moment it appears to be the case that the public health risk is probably quite low. We understand radiation that has escaped from the plant is very small in amount," Gregory Hartl, a WHO spokesman, said (Nebehay, 3/13). "At least as of now, what we're looking at is rather more like Three Mile Island than Chernobyl," said David Brenner, director of the Center for Radiological Research at Columbia University, the New York Times reports in an article examining the possible effects of the radiation leak. The radiation released from Chernobyl in 1986 "was about a million times the amount released from the partial core meltdown at Three Mile Island in 1979, he said." Chernobyl resulted in a thyroid cancer epidemic and an uptick in leukemia cases, according to Brenner. After Three Mile Island, "There is no evidence that anybody at all got sick, even decades later," he said (Grady, 3/13).

...from WHO Reports On Risk From Radiation Exposure

Sunday, March 13

A Brief Respite

You know, the news media is a lot like life: you tend to pay more attention to whomever is screaming the loudest.

Take, for example, what the news media was paying the most attention to before Friday, March 11:

Charlie Sheen.

Now, with meltdowns galore, it's time to step back, take a deep breath, and use another meltdown to at least take some of the edge off.

From Fark this morning:

"I'm incapable of taking in any more information about earthquakes, tsunamis, possible nuclear crisis, etc... And while it's a WTF of the highest order, it turns out Charlie Sheen is the antidote."

Tuesday, March 8

Jennifer Aniston Sex Tape

Saturday, March 5

What's This Internet Thing, Anyway?

Feeling nostalgic? This will help:

Friday, March 4

Cristofori's Dream Revisited

At least once a day, someone on the intarwebs does a search for Cristofori's Dream, swearing the tune was in some movie or other. And finds my blog.

I wrote about that back in May of last year. Marilee and I, too, swear it was in a movie. But since this much time has passed, and people are still searching for it, suggests that it was not.

Well, gentle readers, I think I have solved the mystery.

It's not so much the tune, or the melody, but the nature, the style, of Cristofori's Dream theat gets people's attention. It's that "plinking" tone.

This, I feel, is why people think they've heard Cristofori's Dream before:

You be the judge.

Thursday, March 3

Here's A Bumper Sticker Idea

"My crow is smarter than your honor student".

What's that, you say?

Get this: While "everyone" knows about primates using sticks and blades of grass to extricate termites out of an anthill for food, crows have been documented as having those same behaviors. Yes, CROWS.

From the National Geographic.

Yes, that article is from 2008. And I haven't posted for a MONTH. Be grateful I'm still alive, just not terribly creative lately, at least in the writing sense.

And yes, I still think it's the drugs.
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