Sunday, June 6

An Emptiness In My Heart

"You look like you just lost your best friend."

"No, my best friend is you. Maybe my best four-legged friend."

That was a conversation from Thursday afternoon Marilee and I had.

The absence of Princess has left such a hole in my heart I didn't think was possible. It's all I can do to not think of her. Even now, going out the front door, I have to watch myself that I don't trip over her... but she's not there.

In the final weeks of her life, she slept most of the time, never moving very far from her bed in the front room. But when I'd pass her by on the way out the door, I'd expect her to move into the family room because Little Bit would bother Princess to the point of him taking over the bed and making her move. That was the extent of her movement during the day; that, and her wanting to be let out and back in. Hardly a full life there at the end.

Did I do the right thing, letting her go before she would become so invalid that she wouldn't be able to move of her own accord? I like to think so. Right up to the last, as she was smothering me with sticky kisses as she passed, I know she could see my love for her in my eyes.

The emptiness remains.

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