"That watch is much too nice to wear while working on this stuff."
So said a good friend and co-worker a couple weeks ago. I'd just received my very own Stauer Dashtronic watch, a present to myself after buying multitudes of stuff for Marilee; I wanted to get in on the action.
I'd just gotten her something from HSN or QVC - cannot remember which - and the total came to $100. Said I: "I guess it's time for me to get myself something for a hundred dollars."
Said she: "What?"
"THAT watch."
Reluctantly, she said OK. "Let's put it this way - do you want me to continue getting you stuff from HSN and QVC?"
Bob had made his point.
The Stauer Dashtronic is simplicity in action. Styled after the minimalistic dashboards of 1930's-era automobile dashboards, thus the name, it's not really fancy. It uses not a battery, but a mainspring. Yes, youngsters, it needs to be wound. And of not, it stops. It's not a drawback, mind you, but a traditional extra, in my humble opinion.
It is an analog watch, in the grandest style. And does just one thing: it tells time. There's no chronograph, there's no alarm. It doesn't know what day of the week it is. And while it has no battery, it also has no backlight. Similar to the workings of a Weather Rock, if it's too late to tell what time it is, it's probably after dark.
And it's also a wonderful conversation-starter.
I'd imagine some folks have noticed it on my wrist but didn't know what to say, or even ask. Where everyone's watch tends to look the same any more, this one stands out. Shiny in its stainless-steel top, the crystal is even rather minimal. Just large enough to see the hours and minutes; there's also no second hand.
But it really doesn't matter. I'd wanted an analog watch for some time, but could never settle on one I liked, and Marilee said she couldn't understand why I'd want one. After all, she said, I work on computers, so why wouldn't I want a digital watch?
It's the principle. Besides, consider the last time you asked someone what the time of day was. In the latter part of the hour. Did they say "three forty-five" or "a quarter-to-four"? I like the latter. With the Dashtronic, I can say the latter, too.
So I'm old. And remember a day when analog was all there was.
The Dashtronic gives you the best of both worlds - the minimal of a digital, and the time-honored stylishness of an analog.
So is it time you got one? Of course. Father's Day is just around the corner.
Monday, May 10
Sunday, May 9
Comfort... Sounds?
Comfort foods are those that bring back memories of times past when life was much easier, much simpler.
Even smells, or rather, aromas of Mom making yummy things in the kitchen.
But one sense I wish there were more, well, recordings of are those that conjure memories of those simpler times - and I think I found one:
Even smells, or rather, aromas of Mom making yummy things in the kitchen.
But one sense I wish there were more, well, recordings of are those that conjure memories of those simpler times - and I think I found one:
Space Hair
When I showed the following Fark Photoshop to Marilee - after asking her whether she remembered the scene, that is - she asked me "Just how many people do you think are going to get it?"
Oh, I think a few will know...
Photoshop this space hair:
And...
Do YOU get it?
Oh, I think a few will know...
Photoshop this space hair:
And...
Do YOU get it?
Friday, May 7
Why English Is So Hard To Learn
Found the following little ditty on a website recently. It brings to mind a conversation I had with a colleague today: What do the multitudes of French salutations mean?
Mademoiselle: courtesy title for an unmarried woman in France or a French-speaking country
Madame: a title or form of address for a woman
Monsieur: mister, sir (a title or form of address for a man)
...and that which presented a peculiar sense of consternation, "messieur" is normally in the plural form, a la "messieurs"
Anyway, here's the main part of this post, or:
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Not to mention that we drive on parkways and park in driveways.
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
Mademoiselle: courtesy title for an unmarried woman in France or a French-speaking country
Madame: a title or form of address for a woman
Monsieur: mister, sir (a title or form of address for a man)
...and that which presented a peculiar sense of consternation, "messieur" is normally in the plural form, a la "messieurs"
Anyway, here's the main part of this post, or:
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Not to mention that we drive on parkways and park in driveways.
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
Saturday, May 1
There's a Walmart in Ephraim?
Ephraim? Really?
I know this because I was there yesterday. Well, sort of. I was in town working on an [expletive deleted]. Or would have been, had the power been on in the building. Seems that a power line had gone out somewhere near Santaquin. No, it really did happen, though there's no report of it anywhere.
Really!
OK, so I can't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it happened.
Anyway.
Ephraim is one of those towns so far out of the way that in the almost twenty-five years of my existence in Utah that I'd never been there. And since my visit was less than a half-hour, and didn't even make it into town (the Walmart is on the outskirts), I'm pretty much certain I saw enough.
By the way, I think I may have solved one of the great mysteries of modern times:
The "E" in "BFE" stands for Ephraim.
I know this because I was there yesterday. Well, sort of. I was in town working on an [expletive deleted]. Or would have been, had the power been on in the building. Seems that a power line had gone out somewhere near Santaquin. No, it really did happen, though there's no report of it anywhere.
Really!
OK, so I can't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it happened.
Anyway.
Ephraim is one of those towns so far out of the way that in the almost twenty-five years of my existence in Utah that I'd never been there. And since my visit was less than a half-hour, and didn't even make it into town (the Walmart is on the outskirts), I'm pretty much certain I saw enough.
By the way, I think I may have solved one of the great mysteries of modern times:
The "E" in "BFE" stands for Ephraim.
Sunday, April 25
Two Years of BS
bob's bs, to be exact.
Yesterday I received an email from GoDaddy, telling me that my domain names had been re-registered. Jeez, I thought, has it been two years now?
April 25th, 2008, bob's bs went live. Well,the blog anyway. The domain name came a few days thereafter. But still.
This blog post is my 789th published entry - a bit more than one post per day. In that time, approximately 5,000 visitors have visited my blog's pages. From such far-off places as Canada, the UK, Belgium, Germany, Australia, and Morocco. And even Detroit.
Most are from Utah, and about the same amount from the San Francisco area, though I have no understanding of why that is. And quite a large contingent from Ohio. I shudder to think why that is.
And you might ask "why are all those people looking at my blog? What could I possibly have to offer here than can be found elsewhere?"
Enter Google. More searches find my blog through Google than any other search engine. A smattering comes from Yahoo; a few more from Bing. But the telling tale is what keyword searches reveal.
A few samples are: "Dashtronic", "word cloud generator", "armstrong11", "foxtrot", and "quantifying customer service." That last one was a real shocker: Last year I took a course during one of my [expletive deleted] training classes where the content had to do with being a better customer-oriented individual. And I blogged about it, with exactly the same title as the search keyword. Go figure; guess I'd chosen the right blog title for that one. But therein lies a caveat for choosing witty blog entry titles. Be the least bit arcane, and no-one will find your entry. Word to the wise.
Anyway.
Two years out, and this here blog hasn't - yet - brought me untold riches like some other bloggers have seemed to be able to do. My desire some day is to be as popular as dooce, but that hasn't happened yet. I've only "made" about twenty bucks with this endeavor, though I haven't yet seen a dime of it. And not for lack of trying. I provide brilliantly stimulating content when the opportunity arises, though usually not when I'm on call working on [expletive deleted]'s as I have been this week.
There's much more to write about and much more to share.
Please look forward to another years of bs from me, starting with blog post 790.
Yours,
bob's bs
Yesterday I received an email from GoDaddy, telling me that my domain names had been re-registered. Jeez, I thought, has it been two years now?
April 25th, 2008, bob's bs went live. Well,the blog anyway. The domain name came a few days thereafter. But still.
This blog post is my 789th published entry - a bit more than one post per day. In that time, approximately 5,000 visitors have visited my blog's pages. From such far-off places as Canada, the UK, Belgium, Germany, Australia, and Morocco. And even Detroit.
Most are from Utah, and about the same amount from the San Francisco area, though I have no understanding of why that is. And quite a large contingent from Ohio. I shudder to think why that is.
And you might ask "why are all those people looking at my blog? What could I possibly have to offer here than can be found elsewhere?"
Enter Google. More searches find my blog through Google than any other search engine. A smattering comes from Yahoo; a few more from Bing. But the telling tale is what keyword searches reveal.
A few samples are: "Dashtronic", "word cloud generator", "armstrong11", "foxtrot", and "quantifying customer service." That last one was a real shocker: Last year I took a course during one of my [expletive deleted] training classes where the content had to do with being a better customer-oriented individual. And I blogged about it, with exactly the same title as the search keyword. Go figure; guess I'd chosen the right blog title for that one. But therein lies a caveat for choosing witty blog entry titles. Be the least bit arcane, and no-one will find your entry. Word to the wise.
Anyway.
Two years out, and this here blog hasn't - yet - brought me untold riches like some other bloggers have seemed to be able to do. My desire some day is to be as popular as dooce, but that hasn't happened yet. I've only "made" about twenty bucks with this endeavor, though I haven't yet seen a dime of it. And not for lack of trying. I provide brilliantly stimulating content when the opportunity arises, though usually not when I'm on call working on [expletive deleted]'s as I have been this week.
There's much more to write about and much more to share.
Please look forward to another years of bs from me, starting with blog post 790.
Yours,
bob's bs
Tuesday, April 20
Tern, Tern, Tern
Simple premise - Photoshop this trio of terns:
And...
OK, so I think I've got a winner here. What do you think?
And...
OK, so I think I've got a winner here. What do you think?
Monday, April 19
You Bet Your Ash There's A Reason
Had a driveway moment on Friday as NPR was conducting an interview of a pilot who, in 1982, had an inadvertent introduction into what it's like to fly through a volcanic ash cloud.
It pretty much makes it self-explanatory why air travel has come to a near standstill in Europe.
Here's the story on Youtube. Scary sh!t:
It pretty much makes it self-explanatory why air travel has come to a near standstill in Europe.
Here's the story on Youtube. Scary sh!t:
Saturday, April 17
Eyjafjallajökull
No, I can't pronounce the name of the Icelandic glacier, either.
Nor can many of the world's newscasters, as the following video explains:
OK, so I cannot make fun of this. THAT would be un-politically correct. Besides, there are probably enough people who cannot pronounce - correctly - the city in Southern Utah called Hurricane or the Northern Utah county called Weber (for you out-of-staters it's Hurri-KEN and WEEber).
And God forbid anyone from beyond the Zion curtain tries to wrap their tongues around Tooele.
Nor can many of the world's newscasters, as the following video explains:
OK, so I cannot make fun of this. THAT would be un-politically correct. Besides, there are probably enough people who cannot pronounce - correctly - the city in Southern Utah called Hurricane or the Northern Utah county called Weber (for you out-of-staters it's Hurri-KEN and WEEber).
And God forbid anyone from beyond the Zion curtain tries to wrap their tongues around Tooele.
Friday, April 16
Together, We Make One Person
What with my issues, and Marilee's issues, we've determined that if not for each other, we would not be complete.
Oh, how sweet.
But it's not like that. Rather, without each other, we'd spin off into the abyss, Maybe get swallowed up by the hole in the earth near Randolph from the earthquake yesterday. Taylor and I felt it, but not Marilee or Chris, who was over tending the front yard. She was actually bummed she didn't feel it. Such is the case here - something dramatic happens, and if you're not privy to it, you feel left out.
Anyway.
I was on vacation last week. Didn't do a damn thing. Oh, she and I had grandiose ideas; we'd go to Wendover, maybe Idaho for lottery tickets. Get the cars inspected and stickers. But did we actually do any of that? Not a damn thing.
Getting either of us to do the most mundane tasks requires a battle of epic proportions. Even if either of us do the dishes, we whoop and holler that we actually accomplished something. Productivity! Woo hoo!
Yeah, that whole "productivity" moniker leaves a bad taste in my mouth, a subject which I don't want to go into just now.
Wednesday, Marilee had said "I'm gonna do this" and "I'm gonna do that" this week. With the week waning as it was, and Thursday beginning with Marilee sleeping in far too long, I realized that the "this" and "that" wasn't going to happen. So, with a modicum of guilt, I called in sick, and went into assertive mode - maybe it was the new meds finally kicking in. Whatever.
First off was taking the Grand Am in to have the window fixed. The passenger-side window had dropped off its track and would neither rise nor fall electrically. It had been that way since before Halloween. Money, time, "insert lazy-ass reason for not doing it in the past six months reason here" was the usual response. Three-hundred bucks later, it's fixed.
On to the Rodeo. Check engine light's been on and off for the last few months - mostly on. Oxygen sensor? Hose plugged? I don't do cars. I do [expletive deleted]'s. Only ended up with an oil change for the Rodeo and a few other details. A hundred bucks there. Light's still on.
Now it was off to the bank; Marilee needed a Notary for a signature, off to the bank we were. THAT accomplished, we then went to Costco. Two hundred fifty.
Back home with the haul, an hour respite, then to Jiffy Lube for the Grand Am testing and stickers. Other than the requisite fees and a bit more maintenance including an oil change, that was about two hundred bucks.
WHY does productivity always cost so much?
The good news is that everything we set out to do early yesterday got done. The bad news is that I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not going to work. Well, the work that I get paid for.
To help pay for all that productivity.
Oh, how sweet.
But it's not like that. Rather, without each other, we'd spin off into the abyss, Maybe get swallowed up by the hole in the earth near Randolph from the earthquake yesterday. Taylor and I felt it, but not Marilee or Chris, who was over tending the front yard. She was actually bummed she didn't feel it. Such is the case here - something dramatic happens, and if you're not privy to it, you feel left out.
Anyway.
I was on vacation last week. Didn't do a damn thing. Oh, she and I had grandiose ideas; we'd go to Wendover, maybe Idaho for lottery tickets. Get the cars inspected and stickers. But did we actually do any of that? Not a damn thing.
Getting either of us to do the most mundane tasks requires a battle of epic proportions. Even if either of us do the dishes, we whoop and holler that we actually accomplished something. Productivity! Woo hoo!
Yeah, that whole "productivity" moniker leaves a bad taste in my mouth, a subject which I don't want to go into just now.
Wednesday, Marilee had said "I'm gonna do this" and "I'm gonna do that" this week. With the week waning as it was, and Thursday beginning with Marilee sleeping in far too long, I realized that the "this" and "that" wasn't going to happen. So, with a modicum of guilt, I called in sick, and went into assertive mode - maybe it was the new meds finally kicking in. Whatever.
First off was taking the Grand Am in to have the window fixed. The passenger-side window had dropped off its track and would neither rise nor fall electrically. It had been that way since before Halloween. Money, time, "insert lazy-ass reason for not doing it in the past six months reason here" was the usual response. Three-hundred bucks later, it's fixed.
On to the Rodeo. Check engine light's been on and off for the last few months - mostly on. Oxygen sensor? Hose plugged? I don't do cars. I do [expletive deleted]'s. Only ended up with an oil change for the Rodeo and a few other details. A hundred bucks there. Light's still on.
Now it was off to the bank; Marilee needed a Notary for a signature, off to the bank we were. THAT accomplished, we then went to Costco. Two hundred fifty.
Back home with the haul, an hour respite, then to Jiffy Lube for the Grand Am testing and stickers. Other than the requisite fees and a bit more maintenance including an oil change, that was about two hundred bucks.
WHY does productivity always cost so much?
The good news is that everything we set out to do early yesterday got done. The bad news is that I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not going to work. Well, the work that I get paid for.
To help pay for all that productivity.
Thursday, April 15
Tuesday, April 13
Otto
This is my current Fark Photoshop entry - so far, I'm in the lead:
Photoshop this decontaminator:
And...
I had originally wanted to do another "blow up doll" but ended up with Otto from "Airplane!" - I was rather pleased the inflation of the head matched the inflation of the decontamination suit.
BTW, the entry exemplifies one important reason to have a paid Fark membership; I actually did the 'shop three days ago!
Photoshop this decontaminator:
And...
I had originally wanted to do another "blow up doll" but ended up with Otto from "Airplane!" - I was rather pleased the inflation of the head matched the inflation of the decontamination suit.
BTW, the entry exemplifies one important reason to have a paid Fark membership; I actually did the 'shop three days ago!
Sunday, April 11
Some Things You Just Don't Talk About
Because those are the rules. Essentially unwritten.
But in the last week, whilst on vacation, I became a paying member of Fark.
Yes, folks, that free "news aggregator" - but so much more - that I've posted Photoshop contest entries from, has a pay service.
What exactly does one get for the privilege? For one thing, instead of getting twenty-some-odd "news" stories a day, you get to see the other 95% user-submitted links. Yes, only five percent of the links on Fark.com are available for the non-paying public. "Liters" as we call them.
And about those Photoshop contests? As a paying member, I get to see the 'O'riginal's for the contests before the rest of you. So I get to work on my entries a week or so before they go live to the main page. So much more satisfying to work on an entry without haste. Just a whole lot of fun.
Adjectives include total and ultra. Ask me some time what those particular words really mean in the world of Fark.
It's not news - it's Fark.com!
But in the last week, whilst on vacation, I became a paying member of Fark.
Yes, folks, that free "news aggregator" - but so much more - that I've posted Photoshop contest entries from, has a pay service.
What exactly does one get for the privilege? For one thing, instead of getting twenty-some-odd "news" stories a day, you get to see the other 95% user-submitted links. Yes, only five percent of the links on Fark.com are available for the non-paying public. "Liters" as we call them.
And about those Photoshop contests? As a paying member, I get to see the 'O'riginal's for the contests before the rest of you. So I get to work on my entries a week or so before they go live to the main page. So much more satisfying to work on an entry without haste. Just a whole lot of fun.
Adjectives include total and ultra. Ask me some time what those particular words really mean in the world of Fark.
It's not news - it's Fark.com!
Edie Just Needed A Hug
Folks, there are far too many "Edie's" out there. Please make a difference and adopt the seemingly unadoptable. While the following video is difficult to watch at first, believe me, you'll be glad you watched at all:
Friday, April 9
Wednesday, April 7
Homer
Thankfully, if you Google "Homer", the first "find" is Homer of the Iliad and Odyssey. Second is the other Homer of syndicated cartoon fame. But this is about Homer. THE Homer.
Sunday last, I went to the movies with Jenn, Chris, and Taylor. "Clash of the Titans" was the movie. The story was, well, a remake of "Clash of the Titans". Was it the Iliad? Or the Odyssey? Hardly.
I've read both stories, though it was thirty-five or so years ago. Medusa, Sirens, and scorpions were all there.
And even this thing:
Looking back in the dark recesses of my mind, I don't recall a mechanical owl to be in either the Iliad or Odyssey, but it was in the original Clash. And thankfully only for a moment in the remake. Perseus, rummaging around in a chest of swords and shields, comes across the infamous owl. The dialog went something like this:
"What's this?"
"Never mind."
Best part of the movie.
Seriously.
OK, so it was in 3D replete with funky glasses. That the movie projector puked up a third of the way through, and we got free passes for any movie in the future was payment enough. For sitting through the movie.
Sorry - I'd rather sit through the original, even with the damn owl.
Sunday last, I went to the movies with Jenn, Chris, and Taylor. "Clash of the Titans" was the movie. The story was, well, a remake of "Clash of the Titans". Was it the Iliad? Or the Odyssey? Hardly.
I've read both stories, though it was thirty-five or so years ago. Medusa, Sirens, and scorpions were all there.
And even this thing:
Looking back in the dark recesses of my mind, I don't recall a mechanical owl to be in either the Iliad or Odyssey, but it was in the original Clash. And thankfully only for a moment in the remake. Perseus, rummaging around in a chest of swords and shields, comes across the infamous owl. The dialog went something like this:
"What's this?"
"Never mind."
Best part of the movie.
Seriously.
OK, so it was in 3D replete with funky glasses. That the movie projector puked up a third of the way through, and we got free passes for any movie in the future was payment enough. For sitting through the movie.
Sorry - I'd rather sit through the original, even with the damn owl.
Saturday, April 3
Hyundai Equus
Says here the Hyundai Equus will come with an iPad "as a manual", via the Consumerist.
Says I: "Will it come with a PC if you want an automatic?"
Says I: "Will it come with a PC if you want an automatic?"
Friday, April 2
Thursday, April 1
Like the Dickens
I try SO hard not to write about work. Everyone who reads this here blog pretty much can tell I'm in some sort of computer industry job, but for those of you who don't know the specifics, well, so much the better. That I mention on occasion that I work on [expletive deleted]'s, or that some nights I'm out til all hours - let your mind run free.
I'm getting better at it - at least I think I am - but from time to time we think all we need do is get the nasty, dirty thing running and...
We pause a moment for the witticism of the day: this blog post's title has nothing to do with Charles Dickens; rather, "the dickens" predates Charles by at least 200 years, as this explanation shows from an online edition of an Australian newspaper:
"Dickens is a euphemism for the Devil. The expression has been in the language for centuries and predates the birth of Charles Dickens by at least 200 years. Mistress Page utters it in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor (Act 3, Scene 2): 'I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of'."
So if we apply the historical fact that "dickens" means the devil, and thus alliterates to "hell", then "running like the dickens" therefore means "running like hell".
And that's just what we do when we're pretty sure we've completed the impossible repair job.
"Run Like Hell" = R L H
I'm getting better at it - at least I think I am - but from time to time we think all we need do is get the nasty, dirty thing running and...
We pause a moment for the witticism of the day: this blog post's title has nothing to do with Charles Dickens; rather, "the dickens" predates Charles by at least 200 years, as this explanation shows from an online edition of an Australian newspaper:
"Dickens is a euphemism for the Devil. The expression has been in the language for centuries and predates the birth of Charles Dickens by at least 200 years. Mistress Page utters it in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor (Act 3, Scene 2): 'I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of'."
So if we apply the historical fact that "dickens" means the devil, and thus alliterates to "hell", then "running like the dickens" therefore means "running like hell".
And that's just what we do when we're pretty sure we've completed the impossible repair job.
"Run Like Hell" = R L H
Wednesday, March 31
Utah Weather Patterns
Time was, when I lived in California, you just knew when the weather was turning bad when the seagulls would come inland. Here's it's all inland, so the seagull predictor doesn't work quite right.Yeah, we have THE inland ocean, and there's some arcane story about crickets I won't bore you with.
Yesterday, I was in Vernal, and at one point, the weather was quite balmy. Since the calendar does say it's Spring, that would work. But that was before a storm front came through, and was with me all the way back to the Salt Lake valley.
The weather here makes one at a loss for words. An article in Monday's Deseret News (oh no, here we go again) spoke of the difficulties of weather reportage here and the need for discussion on climate change - specifically that of global warming. Hard to talk about that, short-term anyway, when the wind chill is in the low teens.
Anyway, it makes for some interesting discussions, particularly now, since I work out-of-doors on a regular basis, working on [expletive deleted]'s in the cold and rain.
And snow.
Chinese Proverb
Yeah, I know - these things are SO un-PC. Anyway:
Confucius say,
If you are in a book store
and cannot find
the book for which you search,
you are obviously in the...
If you are in a book store
and cannot find
the book for which you search,
you are obviously in the...
Tuesday, March 30
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Today is my Dad's birthday. Well, it would have been if he were still around. Rather, I suppose today is the anniversary of his birth.
The time? I'm not sure sure of that. But the place? Springfield, South Dakota - that much is certain. As is the day: March 30th.
In the year 1910.
Yes, my Dad would have been one hundred years old today.
Does that surprise you? He wasn't the oldest kid in that family of seven kids. There was, in order: Loretta, Lysle, Wallace (my Dad), Shirley, Grover, Clarke, and Gene. Gene was the last to go at 92, three years ago.
The others? Long since passed.
My Dad died in 1980 - two weeks shy of his 70th birthday. Thirty years ago. I often think of how lucky it is for my close friends that they still have their fathers around. Me? I've always felt I was born into a different generation than them.
Life is so precious, folks: all I can say as far as that goes is to cherish what time you've got left. Don't let it slip away.
Wallace Marion DeLong was never a father to me - he was just DAD.
The time? I'm not sure sure of that. But the place? Springfield, South Dakota - that much is certain. As is the day: March 30th.
In the year 1910.
Yes, my Dad would have been one hundred years old today.
Does that surprise you? He wasn't the oldest kid in that family of seven kids. There was, in order: Loretta, Lysle, Wallace (my Dad), Shirley, Grover, Clarke, and Gene. Gene was the last to go at 92, three years ago.
The others? Long since passed.
My Dad died in 1980 - two weeks shy of his 70th birthday. Thirty years ago. I often think of how lucky it is for my close friends that they still have their fathers around. Me? I've always felt I was born into a different generation than them.
Life is so precious, folks: all I can say as far as that goes is to cherish what time you've got left. Don't let it slip away.
Wallace Marion DeLong was never a father to me - he was just DAD.
Friday, March 26
Rethinking Those "What Are You Doing?" Posts
Folks, have you ever wondered just what information you're supplying to your "friends"?
Now might be the time to go over your Facebook and Twitter followers, particularly if you mention you're going to be out for the evening, as this woman - who ironically works in the home-security business - found out:
"A woman from New Albany, Indiana says that one of her Facebook "friends" burglarized her house after she posted an update indicating that she and her fiancé would be out for the evening."
From the Inquisitr (full article).
Now might be the time to go over your Facebook and Twitter followers, particularly if you mention you're going to be out for the evening, as this woman - who ironically works in the home-security business - found out:
"A woman from New Albany, Indiana says that one of her Facebook "friends" burglarized her house after she posted an update indicating that she and her fiancé would be out for the evening."
From the Inquisitr (full article).
Thursday, March 25
In the Crosshairs?
Sometimes I wonder if the liberal media gets a bit too testy at the conservatives (read Democrats and Republicans). If it's all hogwash, or if it is real. After seeing a blog post at CNN, I'm sure they're right "on the mark".
A recent post on Facebook by Sarah Palin's PAC suggests that Democrats who voted for Health Care Reform should be done away with. How? You be the judge:
Yes, folks, those are crosshairs.
From the blog post, Democratic National Committee chairman Tim Kaine says:
A recent post on Facebook by Sarah Palin's PAC suggests that Democrats who voted for Health Care Reform should be done away with. How? You be the judge:
Yes, folks, those are crosshairs.
From the blog post, Democratic National Committee chairman Tim Kaine says:
"Republican leaders are themselves engaging in actions and rhetoric that previously would have been limited to fringe elements of the Republican Party," Kaine said. "Sarah Palin has invoked health care 'death panels' and has now placed gun sights on 20 Members of Congress who supported reform."
Does this woman really think she can be elected to anything other than the NRA?
I shudder to think.
Does this woman really think she can be elected to anything other than the NRA?
I shudder to think.
Wednesday, March 24
NBA to NCAA Time-Lapse
From Energy Solutions Arena, home of the Utah Jazz, site of the NCAA 2010 Sweet 16:
Is There a Poster for Apollo 11?
I'm wondering if NASA thought this all the way through.
From the Telegraph (UK): "Design wizards at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Texas have spoofed film posters such as The Matrix and Star Trek, using NASA staff in place of actors, in a tongue-in-cheek attempt to brighten up the dangerous work of space exploration"
Images of the posters at NASA space shuttle missions get Hollywood-style movie posters
From the Telegraph (UK): "Design wizards at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Texas have spoofed film posters such as The Matrix and Star Trek, using NASA staff in place of actors, in a tongue-in-cheek attempt to brighten up the dangerous work of space exploration"
Images of the posters at NASA space shuttle missions get Hollywood-style movie posters
Tuesday, March 23
Awesome Commentary on Health Care Reform
When it hits close to home - literally - you tend to pay much more attention:
That's not just any Utah couple, but Heather and Jon Armstrong of dooce.com!
That's not just any Utah couple, but Heather and Jon Armstrong of dooce.com!
Monday, March 22
THE Best Dilbert Cartoon EVER
From May 29, 1995:
"Move the mouse up... up... over... more... Now click it!! Click it!!"
"NO!! YOU FOOL!!"
Too damn funny.
"Move the mouse up... up... over... more... Now click it!! Click it!!"
"NO!! YOU FOOL!!"
Too damn funny.
Saturday, March 20
Googull Maps Street View
The following is making the rounds today on the intarwebs:
They're called Photobombs. That which happens when Google's Street View cameras take photos of something that isn't a street, cars, or building.
Like seagulls:
Photo above taken in the South Coast resort town of Brighton in the UK.
They're called Photobombs. That which happens when Google's Street View cameras take photos of something that isn't a street, cars, or building.
Like seagulls:
Photo above taken in the South Coast resort town of Brighton in the UK.
Friday, March 19
Never Been Better
What the hell does that mean, really?
Literally, since there's always room for improvement, if you say "I've never been better", doesn't that mean something's wrong?
OK, so I haven't posted anything new in four or five days. Is there sonething wrong in Bob's life?
Never been better. NEVER.
More to come in the following days.
Literally, since there's always room for improvement, if you say "I've never been better", doesn't that mean something's wrong?
OK, so I haven't posted anything new in four or five days. Is there sonething wrong in Bob's life?
Never been better. NEVER.
More to come in the following days.
Monday, March 15
Somewhat Symbolic Anniversary
Happy Birthday, dot-com's!
Twenty-five years ago today, the very first dot-com domain name was registered. It went to a company called Symbolics; their domain was symbolics.com.
Why them? As my feeble mind recalls, there was a mad dash that day, and they just happened to be first off the blocks.
Sadly, Symbolics is no more, as a company, anyway. But in a fairly significant turn of events, symbolic if you will, the domain name lives on.
Owned by a domain-name broker.
Twenty-five years ago today, the very first dot-com domain name was registered. It went to a company called Symbolics; their domain was symbolics.com.
Why them? As my feeble mind recalls, there was a mad dash that day, and they just happened to be first off the blocks.
Sadly, Symbolics is no more, as a company, anyway. But in a fairly significant turn of events, symbolic if you will, the domain name lives on.
Owned by a domain-name broker.
Sunday, March 14
Utahns for Ethical Government Youtube Video
I knew you'd look for it, so I thought I'd post it here:
Gotta love living here.
Gotta love living here.
Saturday, March 13
Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is a good thing, when taken in bite-sized pieces. The following, in my humble opinion, is a bit too much.
Photoshop this over-enthusiastic cheerleader:
And...
That contest is from Friday morning; as of Saturday evening, I'm seven behind the leader. What are the chances of going over the top? Care to assist?
Photoshop this over-enthusiastic cheerleader:
And...
That contest is from Friday morning; as of Saturday evening, I'm seven behind the leader. What are the chances of going over the top? Care to assist?
The Dusty Sploosh
Birds just do not get the concept of “glass.”
So says a recent article in Mother Nature News. It says up to a billion birds are killed annually in the United States due to birds flying into windows of homes and businesses. That's a major statistic.
Still, there are those who say that windows aren't birds greatest enemies, rather, cats of the feral and outdoor house variety are birds' greatest fear, on the order of hundreds-of-millions.
Now, wait a minute. If that statistic is to be believed, that's almost TWO BILLION birds killed annually. Maybe there's more to this story.
After sending the link to that Mother Nature News story to a good friend who has seen her share of negative press about ferals and outdoor house cats, she wrote back with this choice piece of evidence:
"A couple weeks ago I saw a serious collection of feathers by the back laundry room door - outside. Was sad that my new feral had apparently reverted to his ways. But then I was talking with a friend and doing laundry on Saturday - and saw the dusty sploosh of where the bird had hit the window. Sad indeed, but at least the cats were only opportunistic, not homicidal..."
Indeed.
So says a recent article in Mother Nature News. It says up to a billion birds are killed annually in the United States due to birds flying into windows of homes and businesses. That's a major statistic.
Still, there are those who say that windows aren't birds greatest enemies, rather, cats of the feral and outdoor house variety are birds' greatest fear, on the order of hundreds-of-millions.
Now, wait a minute. If that statistic is to be believed, that's almost TWO BILLION birds killed annually. Maybe there's more to this story.
After sending the link to that Mother Nature News story to a good friend who has seen her share of negative press about ferals and outdoor house cats, she wrote back with this choice piece of evidence:
"A couple weeks ago I saw a serious collection of feathers by the back laundry room door - outside. Was sad that my new feral had apparently reverted to his ways. But then I was talking with a friend and doing laundry on Saturday - and saw the dusty sploosh of where the bird had hit the window. Sad indeed, but at least the cats were only opportunistic, not homicidal..."
Indeed.
Thursday, March 11
Church Signs and More
I'd commented on the classic Church Sign Generator a while back, and re-visited again this morning. Come to find out that there are far more signs to put your important messages on now. Even this one:
Be sure to answer in the form of a question.
From Says-it.com.
Be sure to answer in the form of a question.
From Says-it.com.
Stupid Customer Tricks
While this IS about work, it's from another time and place. So it's OK. Sort of.
"Stupid Customer Tricks" refers to an occasion where a customer had tried putting a 9x12 Tyvek envelope into a laser printer so as to print an address thereon. It was rather surprising that the printer actually fed it in, but it never came out.
Tyvek is, under the right circumstances, as strong as steel. But when subjected to the high temperature of a laser printer's fuser, it melts as easily as wax. Needless to say, the service call was billable.
The customer in this case was stoopid, as was the "trick".
The moral of this story is that one should never trust a customer.
"Stupid Customer Tricks" refers to an occasion where a customer had tried putting a 9x12 Tyvek envelope into a laser printer so as to print an address thereon. It was rather surprising that the printer actually fed it in, but it never came out.
Tyvek is, under the right circumstances, as strong as steel. But when subjected to the high temperature of a laser printer's fuser, it melts as easily as wax. Needless to say, the service call was billable.
The customer in this case was stoopid, as was the "trick".
The moral of this story is that one should never trust a customer.
Tuesday, March 9
Did You Mean... Extremist?
Marilee gets on me on a regular basis for correcting others' grammar faux pas'. What can I say - my parents were always correcting me when I was growing up.
So it comes as no real surprise that while surfing the web, I'll cringe when I see others mangling the English language. Oh how I wish I could correct every single one of them...
Ahem.
This morning's Fark Photoshop is simply Photoshop this soaring cycle and airborne extemist:
And...
There's much work yet to be done.
So it comes as no real surprise that while surfing the web, I'll cringe when I see others mangling the English language. Oh how I wish I could correct every single one of them...
Ahem.
This morning's Fark Photoshop is simply Photoshop this soaring cycle and airborne extemist:
And...
There's much work yet to be done.
Monday, March 8
This Too Shall Pass - Again
In just five days, OK Go's video has gone rather viral, with over three million views on YouTube.
So you may ask - I know I did - just how did they do it?
Following is the four-part video of how they did it:
See the original article from PopEater.
So you may ask - I know I did - just how did they do it?
Following is the four-part video of how they did it:
See the original article from PopEater.
Saturday, March 6
So You Want A Minimalist Home Page?
I don't go in for an over-abundance of stuff on the first web page I see in the morning. Or afternoon. Or... any time at all. Most often, it has been iGoogle or just Gmail. But as I just learned, there's an even more minimalist approach, and it's called fav4.
Here's my new start page in all its simple glory:
From left, that's iGoogle, Blogger, woot!, and Twitter. The four sites I visit most every day.
You should try this; there are many other selections to choose from for your four fav sites, and there's even a search box - configurable of course - you can display with your fav4.
Go take a look at fav4.org!
Here's my new start page in all its simple glory:
From left, that's iGoogle, Blogger, woot!, and Twitter. The four sites I visit most every day.
You should try this; there are many other selections to choose from for your four fav sites, and there's even a search box - configurable of course - you can display with your fav4.
Go take a look at fav4.org!
Friday, March 5
This Too Shall Pass
Saw the following video on dooce last night, and just had to share it here. I don't know what entity designed or produced it, but it really, really, needs to awarded SOMETHING:
Reminds me of this classic video from several years ago, "Isn't it nice when things just... work?"
Rube Goldberg would be so proud.
Reminds me of this classic video from several years ago, "Isn't it nice when things just... work?"
Rube Goldberg would be so proud.
Thursday, March 4
Is it Time to Hang Up the Snow Jacket?
[I'm gonna get comments about this one.]
Traditionally, the Eubank's on KSL have always worn a "snow jacket" on the evening news whenever a snowstorm is forecast.
Now, this isn't a down-filled, puffy, water-resistant parka, no, this is a white suit jacket. In the past, Mark Eubank would wear it; since his son, Kevin Eubank, is now the primary weatherman on KSL, the torch has passed to him. And the tradition.
But this winter, we haven't seen the jacket all that much. It still gets cold at night, but all the snow here in the valley is all gone. And while today's rain did on occasion turn a bit icy, there was no snow to speak of. And the snow coat? Yeah, it was out, but we've come to expect a sloshy day when we see it.
Not this time.
Maybe it's time to hang up the jacket, Kevin.
At least there's that Jay Leno gig to think about.
Traditionally, the Eubank's on KSL have always worn a "snow jacket" on the evening news whenever a snowstorm is forecast.
Now, this isn't a down-filled, puffy, water-resistant parka, no, this is a white suit jacket. In the past, Mark Eubank would wear it; since his son, Kevin Eubank, is now the primary weatherman on KSL, the torch has passed to him. And the tradition.
But this winter, we haven't seen the jacket all that much. It still gets cold at night, but all the snow here in the valley is all gone. And while today's rain did on occasion turn a bit icy, there was no snow to speak of. And the snow coat? Yeah, it was out, but we've come to expect a sloshy day when we see it.
Not this time.
Maybe it's time to hang up the jacket, Kevin.
At least there's that Jay Leno gig to think about.
Tuesday, March 2
Do Programmers Have A Problem With Math?
It's not like this is Boolean Algebra, after all.
Seems that many Playstation 3's had a little problem over the weekend, coming up with an oh-so-descriptive error of "8001050F". On Monday.
Why?
Apparently, some dim bulb programmer screwed up the leap year calculation to make the consoles think it was February 29th. So when the Playstation network said "No, it's March 1st", they shut down in protest.
It's the Y2K bug all over again. Well, sorta.
Seems that many Playstation 3's had a little problem over the weekend, coming up with an oh-so-descriptive error of "8001050F". On Monday.Why?
Apparently, some dim bulb programmer screwed up the leap year calculation to make the consoles think it was February 29th. So when the Playstation network said "No, it's March 1st", they shut down in protest.
It's the Y2K bug all over again. Well, sorta.
Monday, March 1
Armstrong11 Attention Grabber
Folks, you just never know who is going to visit your blog.
Apparently, the whole Reagan Advertising billboard blitz that has been going on along the Wasatch Front for the last couple months has gotten the attention of one National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Yes, NASA.
I suppose it's not surprising. Any time you mention history for your own financial gain (face it, that's got to be the reason), someone is bound to notice, particularly those who made the history in the first place.
But wait, dear readers, how exactly do I know that NASA has been poking around Armstrong11's neck of the woods? Because, dear readers, they have been reading MY BLOG:
Yeah, you just never know...
Apparently, the whole Reagan Advertising billboard blitz that has been going on along the Wasatch Front for the last couple months has gotten the attention of one National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Yes, NASA.
I suppose it's not surprising. Any time you mention history for your own financial gain (face it, that's got to be the reason), someone is bound to notice, particularly those who made the history in the first place.
But wait, dear readers, how exactly do I know that NASA has been poking around Armstrong11's neck of the woods? Because, dear readers, they have been reading MY BLOG:
Yeah, you just never know...
Sunday, February 28
Saturday, February 27
Chilean Earthquake
A few key websites to watch:From the USGS, 10-degree map centered in the area.
Article from Hawaii 24/7 regarding the tsunami warnings, including tsunami travel times.
Updates from CNN.
World time zone map from worldtimezone.com.
I'll add more links as they become available.
Thursday, February 25
Ethics in Utah Politics?
No way!
Yes, way.
Interesting article in the Deseret News today - this is a good one, no bs involved.
Has to do with a requirement of legislators and lobbyists that they take an online test of ethics. Imagine that. Did Buttars take it? The article points out that a majority of the body has not only not taken the test, but that there even is a test.
Anyway, while it's a requirement for legislators and their ilk, the general public (that's you and me) can also take the test. Legislative Ethics Training is produced by the Office of Legislative Research and General Counsel.
Bonus: If you navigate to the test via the instructions provided by the Deseret News is this choice "Chose Wisely" entry (graphic at right).
This from the Department of Redundancy Department.
[Additional protip: If you're using a netbook, you may have to go full-screen to see the navigational buttons in the tests.]
Yes, way.
Interesting article in the Deseret News today - this is a good one, no bs involved.
Has to do with a requirement of legislators and lobbyists that they take an online test of ethics. Imagine that. Did Buttars take it? The article points out that a majority of the body has not only not taken the test, but that there even is a test.
Anyway, while it's a requirement for legislators and their ilk, the general public (that's you and me) can also take the test. Legislative Ethics Training is produced by the Office of Legislative Research and General Counsel.Bonus: If you navigate to the test via the instructions provided by the Deseret News is this choice "Chose Wisely" entry (graphic at right).
This from the Department of Redundancy Department.
[Additional protip: If you're using a netbook, you may have to go full-screen to see the navigational buttons in the tests.]
Wednesday, February 24
Miscarriage of Justice?
The internet is all a-Twitter about a new bill in the Utah State Legislature concerning whether a miscarriage - in any form - can be considered as murder.
Click on that Twitter link above for interesting reading.
More at the Utah Legislature's website on House Bill 12.
Click on that Twitter link above for interesting reading.
More at the Utah Legislature's website on House Bill 12.
Sunday, February 21
A Different Kind of Pain
On several occasions, I've written at length about pain - meds, spine, ear aches, etc. All organic, they've run the gamut. So why is it, that when one is presented with something entirely inorganic, that the pain begins anew?Boy, that sounded like BS.
Anyway, as Marilee is the uber shopper around here, I've begun to see the pleasure in finding deals. Even if you have no outward intention of actually buying anything. As such, I'm always looking to see if there's anything new under the sun at woot!, and the fave around here, DealSucker.
Dealsucker alerted me to quite the deal today, a "Car Oxygen Bar In Metallic Blue".
I'd seen these previously, and the deal today is quite impressive - at just $2.99, I'd love to have one. particularly for the truck, but also for our Rodeo. And ultimately for the Grand Am, but since it's been sitting dormant in the driveway for six months or so, still with a mangled passenger-side window, that will have to wait.
Anyway.
Painful is the description of the ozone generator. Written in pristine Engrish, it's actually a joy to read, in a perverse sort of way. Likely cut 'n' pasted verbatim from the original text, there's nary a hint that whomever pasted it attempted any form of correction. Thusly:
This product produces ozone and anion which can rapidly eliminate the car inside soot, peculiar smell, and have force sterilization, purification air, make your car air as fresh as bathes in the forest.
Uh, bathes in the forest?
The anion is called "in the air of Vitamin", is beneficial to the health of human beings.
MY definition of anion is a negatively charged ion.
Plug and play installation.
I'd certainly hope so.
Has the best medicine function, and can effectively reduces the cough, sneezes, asthma's incidence of a disease.
Careful, there. Now we're claiming medicinal properties? Call the FDA!
Suitable for all 12V car power.
Yeah, 24V car power has been out of vogue for some time.
Direct insertion the portfire, the blue lamp bright denote enter the work estage.
Saved the best for last. "Portfire", as far as I can tell, is a device for igniting fireworks. As the generator is blue, a blue lamp - more likely an LED - seems plausible. But "enter the work estage" puzzles me the most.
Anyone care to take a stab at it? Any Engrish majors out there?
Saturday, February 20
Too Obscure? Or Just Too Much A Stretch?
Whenever one has to explain a Fark Photoshop contest entry, one can be sure of NO votes.
Photoshop this Russian rehearsing:
My entry?
WTF?
Adobe Acrobat.
Yeah, I know.
Photoshop this Russian rehearsing:
My entry?
WTF?
Adobe Acrobat.
Yeah, I know.
Wait, Wait... That Was Tolerable
This morning, upon return from McDonald's, I had a "Driveway Moment"; that parcel of time where one cannot get out of the car lest one misses the last little bit of whatever's on NPR. And "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" was on the local NPR station.At that moment, I decided on listening to the entire show once I got into the house, though it was about an hour later when I got around to listening to it.
It had been playing for about fifteen minutes when I realized Marilee, too, was listening. Several minutes later began the following brilliantly stimulating conversation:
Me: "Do you realize you're listening to NPR?"
She: "Oh NO."
Me: "Yes."
As an aside, Marilee is not one who can stand "Talk Radio" as she calls it. I, for one, consider "Talk Radio" as that drivel that KSL Radio insists on broadcasting during the early afternoon hours - in other words, Sean Hannity and his ilk. A call-in show, in other words.
In Marilee's ears, that which she refers to as "Talk Radio" is where only talking is heard. No music, only talking. This includes any and all shows on any NPR station.
One evening on a return trip from somewhere, "Prairie Home Companion" was on - she identified it as being some sort of religious program - "No, dear, it's not religious, it's from Lake Woebegone, and..." let's just say something was lost in the translation.
Admittedly, today's "Wait, Wait" was a compilation of several earlier shows - nothing "live" - so she didn't get the whole effect. "Wait, Wait" is funny, irreverent, witty, all the adjectives one can think of. And "we" will try to get her to listen to next week's show.
Why? Because she actually listened to "talking" on the radio today.
Friday, February 19
Call it a Mask or Call it a Blank, But Here's Crasher Squirrel!
Yet another Fark Photoshop yesterday began thusly:
Photoshop these bored guards and their hairy friend
The original:
Now what do you suppose I could put in there? [Eight votes as of this morning]
I'd looked for Crasher Squirrel in the past, but all I could really find was THE original of Crasher Squirrel, that curious creature who appeared in a couple's photo while they were on holiday at Lake Minnewanka in Banff National Park in Canada. The little guy has become an internet sensation and can be found in every corner of the internet.
The couple decided to send their photo along to the National Geographic's website for consideration in the magazine's Photo of the Day contest. From there, the photo spread like wildfire.
As for the Fark Photoshop yeaterday, I'd found, previously, an image that could be used as a blank or mask, but yesterday couldn't get the image to load - so off I went in search for another copy, and found this oh-so-large replacement. It's a PNG with a transparent background, so you shouldn't have any problem inserting it into your own creations:
Just do a right-click and a Save As as you would normally do to save the image to your computer.
And above all, have fun!
Photoshop these bored guards and their hairy friend
The original:
Now what do you suppose I could put in there? [Eight votes as of this morning]
I'd looked for Crasher Squirrel in the past, but all I could really find was THE original of Crasher Squirrel, that curious creature who appeared in a couple's photo while they were on holiday at Lake Minnewanka in Banff National Park in Canada. The little guy has become an internet sensation and can be found in every corner of the internet.
The couple decided to send their photo along to the National Geographic's website for consideration in the magazine's Photo of the Day contest. From there, the photo spread like wildfire.
As for the Fark Photoshop yeaterday, I'd found, previously, an image that could be used as a blank or mask, but yesterday couldn't get the image to load - so off I went in search for another copy, and found this oh-so-large replacement. It's a PNG with a transparent background, so you shouldn't have any problem inserting it into your own creations:
Just do a right-click and a Save As as you would normally do to save the image to your computer.
And above all, have fun!
Thursday, February 18
Oh How I Miss Saturday Morning Cartoons
And a Fark Photoshop to boot.
Photoshop this da Vinci under wraps:
And...
If you have to ask, you're probably far too young.
Photoshop this da Vinci under wraps:
And...
If you have to ask, you're probably far too young.
Monday, February 15
Who in Their Right Mind...
Oh, wait, maybe that's the point.
Was home for lunch last week, and heard it waaaay before I saw it. Engine revving at an unheard of rate, you'd have expected the thing to be going 88 miles an hour. But not.
Speeding by at top speed of five miles an hour was a neighbor's recently-acquired Ford Falcon. I wouldn't be surprised that the seller paid them to take it off their hands. Visually, the car is quite a stunner. Nary a dent or scratch. But under the bonnet, I dare not even imagine what it looks like.
In an earlier time, the following would be a joy to have in your driveway:
Even parked on the street it'd be a joy. But since the neighbor allows it to be in the garage, it boggles the mind that that old of a car probably has no catalytic converter, let alone any sort of carbon monoxide reduction.
[I'll take a moment here to say I wish no ill will on any of my neighbors. Even the new owners of this classic.]
Anyway.
This evening, the wife and I were watching TV, when she exclaimed "What's THAT?"
"Sounds like a car", even before she turned the volume down.
"Don't they know they're gassing the whole neighborhood?"
With that, I pretty much knew what the source was. And I was right. For there, a door or two down, was the infamous Falcon. Inching its way into the garage. At RPM's worthy of a Delorean going back in time.
Was home for lunch last week, and heard it waaaay before I saw it. Engine revving at an unheard of rate, you'd have expected the thing to be going 88 miles an hour. But not.
Speeding by at top speed of five miles an hour was a neighbor's recently-acquired Ford Falcon. I wouldn't be surprised that the seller paid them to take it off their hands. Visually, the car is quite a stunner. Nary a dent or scratch. But under the bonnet, I dare not even imagine what it looks like.
In an earlier time, the following would be a joy to have in your driveway:
Even parked on the street it'd be a joy. But since the neighbor allows it to be in the garage, it boggles the mind that that old of a car probably has no catalytic converter, let alone any sort of carbon monoxide reduction.
[I'll take a moment here to say I wish no ill will on any of my neighbors. Even the new owners of this classic.]
Anyway.
This evening, the wife and I were watching TV, when she exclaimed "What's THAT?"
"Sounds like a car", even before she turned the volume down.
"Don't they know they're gassing the whole neighborhood?"
With that, I pretty much knew what the source was. And I was right. For there, a door or two down, was the infamous Falcon. Inching its way into the garage. At RPM's worthy of a Delorean going back in time.
Proof that George Lucas is god
That's un-capitalized, you may note.
The proof:
Colossians 4:14 "Luke...
Deuteronomy 8:11 ... I Am...
Psalm 2:7 ...your father".
The proof:
Colossians 4:14 "Luke...
Deuteronomy 8:11 ... I Am...
Psalm 2:7 ...your father".
Chris Buttars is an Alien
What the hell planet is he from?
Mr. Buttars, ever the one to come out of nowhere with a lame-brain idea, not to mention opening his mouth before thinking which seems to happen more than the legislature would like - see my commentaries from previous legislative sessions in 2008 and 2009 - has come up with a zinger this time.
From the Salt Lake Tribune:
"Contending 12th grade is a wasted year for most high school students, Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, suggested Monday [February 1] that the state could save $102 million by compressing high school into three years. [He] outlined his proposal for members of the Public Education Appropriations Subcommittee, dismissing 12th grade as a uniquely American tradition that is followed for reasons no one can identify. He acknowledged getting rid of it won't be easy."
Ya think?
One commenter on the Trib's website did acknowledge that Buttars should be commended on thinking outside the box; I, on the other hand, think that the residents of West Jordan (his home district) really need to consider thinking outside this box at the next election:
Mr. Buttars, ever the one to come out of nowhere with a lame-brain idea, not to mention opening his mouth before thinking which seems to happen more than the legislature would like - see my commentaries from previous legislative sessions in 2008 and 2009 - has come up with a zinger this time.
From the Salt Lake Tribune:
"Contending 12th grade is a wasted year for most high school students, Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, suggested Monday [February 1] that the state could save $102 million by compressing high school into three years. [He] outlined his proposal for members of the Public Education Appropriations Subcommittee, dismissing 12th grade as a uniquely American tradition that is followed for reasons no one can identify. He acknowledged getting rid of it won't be easy."
Ya think?
One commenter on the Trib's website did acknowledge that Buttars should be commended on thinking outside the box; I, on the other hand, think that the residents of West Jordan (his home district) really need to consider thinking outside this box at the next election:
Sunday, February 14
Ethics in Social Media?
Does it exist?OK, so I may have done something a bit underhanded just now. And with all my luck, it'll come back to haunt me.
As a variation on a theme, I just made another comment on the poor name choice for Apple's new
Is an iPad a Maxi-pod?
Yeah, I can't help myself.
Anyway, no sooner had I posted that on Twitter than I had a retweet from @ipadtweet, repeating my comment. Likely having picked up on my iPad comment.
So I decided to test my theory by tweeting the following:
"Ethical? Is exploitation of an automaton a viable tactic to increase the visibility of your content? Example: iPad - http://bit.ly/9SkgEM "
[The bit.ly link is back to bob's bs.]
Will this provide new linkage to my blog? Dunno.
Watch this space for an update.
Snowboarder Protip
If you're representing your country in the Olympics, and they are footing the bill for you to be there, make sure you look good.
Chances are, my readers don't understand Japanese, unless you're withholding some information. So you may not understand the following clip. But do understand one thing: Kazuhiro Kokubo got into a serious world of hurt when he looked as unkempt as he did in the video.
Yeah, so the whole snowboarder anti-authority style is what permeates the sport. But if your culture expects you to be otherwise, then watch yourself.
Yeah, that was bs.
Chances are, my readers don't understand Japanese, unless you're withholding some information. So you may not understand the following clip. But do understand one thing: Kazuhiro Kokubo got into a serious world of hurt when he looked as unkempt as he did in the video.
Yeah, so the whole snowboarder anti-authority style is what permeates the sport. But if your culture expects you to be otherwise, then watch yourself.
Yeah, that was bs.
Saturday, February 13
Do the Birds Still Sing in Hell?
Horace Greasley. Remember that name. A POW during World War II, he had quite a story to tell of his imprisonment. And his erstwhile activities.
I only read of his exploits this morning, and wanted to paraphrase the account, but cannot do the story justice. So I'll just use the description from Amazon; you can get the book he wrote to the right.
"Do The Birds Still Sing In Hell? is an incredible tale of one man's defiance, of adversity and the lengths he was prepared to go to for brief, passion-filled moments, each time under a death sentence. This is the story of a young man's outlawed obsession for the girl he loved, of man's most natural craving and of his determination to defeat her Fatherland. This story is about good over evil, how love can blossom in the most impossible of situations. It is a story about desire and hope but above all it is a story of heroism."
Also, an awesome article about Horace at the Telegraph's UK website.
Horace died on February 4th.
I only read of his exploits this morning, and wanted to paraphrase the account, but cannot do the story justice. So I'll just use the description from Amazon; you can get the book he wrote to the right.
"Do The Birds Still Sing In Hell? is an incredible tale of one man's defiance, of adversity and the lengths he was prepared to go to for brief, passion-filled moments, each time under a death sentence. This is the story of a young man's outlawed obsession for the girl he loved, of man's most natural craving and of his determination to defeat her Fatherland. This story is about good over evil, how love can blossom in the most impossible of situations. It is a story about desire and hope but above all it is a story of heroism."
Also, an awesome article about Horace at the Telegraph's UK website.
Horace died on February 4th.
Monday, February 8
What Waking Up Looks Like
Marilee sent me this, from one of her friends.
I guarantee you will not be able to look away from this little video:
I guarantee you will not be able to look away from this little video:
Sunday, February 7
Did That Touchdown Break Twitter?
Tried to tweet that CBS should start cueing up 'Heidi', but my tweet took forever to go through.Mayhaps Twitter bogged down with that 31-17 Saints touchdown?
Anticlimactic Super Bowl Ad Placement
I'm seeing this more and more today - not in a general sense, mind you. Really, today, February 7th.
The following is supposedly an ad for Google (like they need to advertise) that will be airing today during the Super Bowl:
Specifically, during the third quarter. At least that's what this article at Business Insider (a Silicon Valley online rag) has to say.
What point is there in finding out what the commercials are, before the event?
And why do they have to spoil the show with all that football?
What will be most interesting is how social networking plays into all the hoopla. As Facebook is a bit more sluggish and overloaded they won't be much of an issue, IMHO. But Twitter?
I'll be watching TwitScoop, thank you very much.
And by the way, there's a YouTube channel already set up for the event at youtube.com/superbowl.
The following is supposedly an ad for Google (like they need to advertise) that will be airing today during the Super Bowl:
Specifically, during the third quarter. At least that's what this article at Business Insider (a Silicon Valley online rag) has to say.
What point is there in finding out what the commercials are, before the event?
And why do they have to spoil the show with all that football?
What will be most interesting is how social networking plays into all the hoopla. As Facebook is a bit more sluggish and overloaded they won't be much of an issue, IMHO. But Twitter?
I'll be watching TwitScoop, thank you very much.
And by the way, there's a YouTube channel already set up for the event at youtube.com/superbowl.
Saturday, February 6
Heaven's Got A New Angel
I'm apparently not the first person to utter those words, as a Google search just made me realize.
Mary Lou has left the building, so to speak.
Her life support was removed yesterday at about 1pm Pacific time; she lasted until just after 1pm today. Now she's at peace, no more pain.
My cousins Erin and Kirk were with her until the end; cousin Laurie Sue and family spoke with her on the phone and sang to her over the last few days. While I wasn't with her until the end, I'm fortunate to have spent the time with her last week and will always cherish it.
Mary Lou has left the building, so to speak.
Her life support was removed yesterday at about 1pm Pacific time; she lasted until just after 1pm today. Now she's at peace, no more pain.
My cousins Erin and Kirk were with her until the end; cousin Laurie Sue and family spoke with her on the phone and sang to her over the last few days. While I wasn't with her until the end, I'm fortunate to have spent the time with her last week and will always cherish it.
Harold's Gone Missing
I suppose this post could also be titled "Where's Harold" a la Waldo.
In his place is this guy:
While I haven't seen Harold - the original one, that is - or his successor, it turns out I'm not the only one who has criticized his existence. A couple other blogs here and here - and even THE New York Times - have commented on them. And all created by LowerMyBills.com.
The Times article headline simply states:
Don’t Like the Dancing Cowboys? Results Say You Do
Oh, great. As that article is from three years ago, Harold isn't going away any time soon.
In his place is this guy:
While I haven't seen Harold - the original one, that is - or his successor, it turns out I'm not the only one who has criticized his existence. A couple other blogs here and here - and even THE New York Times - have commented on them. And all created by LowerMyBills.com.
The Times article headline simply states:
Don’t Like the Dancing Cowboys? Results Say You Do
Oh, great. As that article is from three years ago, Harold isn't going away any time soon.
Friday, February 5
The Width Of A Horse's Ass
I don't know if any of this is true, but it sounded fun. Yeah, I know, by perpetuating the [possible] myth I am therefore adding to the illusion of it being true.
Fun, nevertheless:
The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
Fun, nevertheless:
The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did they use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay!
Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts. So who built these old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts?
The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made by, or for, Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Thus we have the answer to the original questions.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot. Specs and Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right - because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war horses.
When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line to the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined by the width of a horse's ass.
Hatch Prayer Video
Sorry, just had to post this:
One observation, however - couldn't the virtual crop have edited out the singing?
One observation, however - couldn't the virtual crop have edited out the singing?
California Folks
The update from California is thus, from my cousin Laurie Sue:"It's not too long now before I think in the next 2 days we will know..... I loved my mom and love her very very much. I remember your mom, and your dad. I have fond memories of them all, laughing in the great DeLong tradition. Now we are the ones who will carry on the laugh to generations of DeLongs. All of them have great smiles. All of them have great senses of humor. Time and life march on. Our Lord God is great. Even if times are tough. Keep the faith."
[Photo is from July 2002]
Thursday, February 4
Illness Squared
Whether it's a really bad cold or a mild flu, I don't know. But Marilee and I both have it.That bit of too much information was confirmed today when we both acknowledged that we both are having, uh, intestinal troubles. And as far as the primary conditions, there's the congestion, headache, stuffed ears, scratchy throat, body aches. I felt so crappy and fatigued this morning - again - that I was off to the Instacare.
And, pray tell, where did this lovely condition come from? One obvious conclusion could be that we both got back from a visit to the Golden State with a brief stopover in the Silver State.
And since we did spend substantial time in a hospital last week with my Aunt Mary Lou, who knows what we may have picked up.
Praise Be To Heinz
From Fark:
Hearing the cries of anguish, frustration, and sorrow for 40 years, a change has finally come to the world. One that promises to raise our spirits, and to make our lives better. Yes, the ketchup packet has been re-designed!
Hearing the cries of anguish, frustration, and sorrow for 40 years, a change has finally come to the world. One that promises to raise our spirits, and to make our lives better. Yes, the ketchup packet has been re-designed!
Wednesday, February 3
All The Good Ones Were Taken
An article from long ago mocked the merger of Sperry and Univac saying "All the good names were taken" when the two companies decided on "Unisys".So, too, when an entrepreneur chose "TrueTwit" for their Twitter follower service which purports to decide whether a new follower is a human or a (ro)bot.
Really?
Wasn't there snickering around the conference-room table when Apple chose iPad?
Wouldn't an entity, deciding to create a new product, check to see what the true nature of the word "twit" is?
Therefore, wouldn't it be more apropos to call their product "TwitBuster" or some such?
Hmmm...
What Part Don't You Understand?
To the driver of the little car southbound on I-15 last night, near Lindon:WHAT PART OF MERGE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
An acceleration lane is for just that. Accelerating. One must accelerate to match the speed of the rest of the cars on the thoroughfare. The old "defensive driving" advertising of the seventies and eighties remind you that one should never insist on the right-of-way. It's not a right as in your Civil Rights, no, little car driver, it has to do with the opposite of left.
Your forty-miles-an-hour speed in the acceleration lane is a bad idea, no matter where you live. In inclement driving conditions, I can see your 40 MPH would be appropriate, but not on that section of I-15 where the traffic speed was easily 65 and maybe a little bit more.
Further, I am NOT going to slow down to your speed to let you in. Twice I slowed to let you accelerate into the space but you chose not to do so. That you apparently gave up and instead drove onto the shoulder is not of my concern.
I just hope you kept your head and arms inside the vehicle until the ride came to a complete stop.
Monday, February 1
Is Mormonism A Second-Tier Faith?
Oh, don't get all huffy with me.
I'm just commenting on something that recently happened in California. Yes, THAT California. While Mormonism and California in the same sentence may conjure up thoughts of propositions to the eighth degree, this time it has to do with what one Pagan chaplain says about Catholics, Protestants, Pagans, and, yes, Mormons.
Yes, putting Mormons and Pagans in the same sentence may be blasphemy, but this topic needs to be reiewed not just by Californians, but by those in other parts pf the country. Since the article, linked below, is from St. Louis it may mean that Golden Staters don't want to deal with it, either.
But Utahns? Anyone with a Journalistic bent in Utah wanna take a stab at this one?
Is your faith about to be demoted?
By Kathy Nance
Special to the [St. Louis] Post-Dispatch
I'm just commenting on something that recently happened in California. Yes, THAT California. While Mormonism and California in the same sentence may conjure up thoughts of propositions to the eighth degree, this time it has to do with what one Pagan chaplain says about Catholics, Protestants, Pagans, and, yes, Mormons.
Yes, putting Mormons and Pagans in the same sentence may be blasphemy, but this topic needs to be reiewed not just by Californians, but by those in other parts pf the country. Since the article, linked below, is from St. Louis it may mean that Golden Staters don't want to deal with it, either.
But Utahns? Anyone with a Journalistic bent in Utah wanna take a stab at this one?
Is your faith about to be demoted?
By Kathy Nance
Special to the [St. Louis] Post-Dispatch
Nice Brief
No, this isn't about Hanes. Or Fruit of the Loom. Besides, reviewing what someone chooses to wear, particularly of the undergarment variety isn't what my blog is about.
Besides, that would be of the plural sense. Like scissor vs. scissors.
"Nice Brief" refers to a comment I received on January 31st for my post "Hull Breach Is Imminent". A classic Dilbert cartoon I ran across recently while perusing an old hard drive backup. The comment went thusly:
"Nice brief and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you seeking your information."
Now, I don't expect that everyone in the world is a genius at English. People who are, probably don't lower themselves to reading blogs, unless they are looking for examples to show their classes. Besides, geniuses at English probably get paid to show others the subject. That the commenter says they are working on an assignment is at least somewhat conversant in English, albeit broken.
Anyway.
That day, there was a visitor to my blog from "The Russian Federation", but there was no actual "page" viewed. Strange, that. And they'd left a comment. And since I moderate the comments to my blog, and finding that comment all that much more peculiar, decided to Google it.
Glad I did.
For there, on that glowing Acer Netbook screen, were about 30 other blog comments with exactly the same text. No, that's not a coincidence.
What does it mean? Hard to tell. Maybe it's someone doing research to find out how gullible internet denizens are, to just allow any comment to be made on their posts. Whether by the commenter or the Engrish professor proving a point to his or her class will never be known.
Needless to say, I deleted the comment.
Besides, that would be of the plural sense. Like scissor vs. scissors.
"Nice Brief" refers to a comment I received on January 31st for my post "Hull Breach Is Imminent". A classic Dilbert cartoon I ran across recently while perusing an old hard drive backup. The comment went thusly:
"Nice brief and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you seeking your information."
Now, I don't expect that everyone in the world is a genius at English. People who are, probably don't lower themselves to reading blogs, unless they are looking for examples to show their classes. Besides, geniuses at English probably get paid to show others the subject. That the commenter says they are working on an assignment is at least somewhat conversant in English, albeit broken.
Anyway.
That day, there was a visitor to my blog from "The Russian Federation", but there was no actual "page" viewed. Strange, that. And they'd left a comment. And since I moderate the comments to my blog, and finding that comment all that much more peculiar, decided to Google it.
Glad I did.
For there, on that glowing Acer Netbook screen, were about 30 other blog comments with exactly the same text. No, that's not a coincidence.
What does it mean? Hard to tell. Maybe it's someone doing research to find out how gullible internet denizens are, to just allow any comment to be made on their posts. Whether by the commenter or the Engrish professor proving a point to his or her class will never be known.
Needless to say, I deleted the comment.
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